


Sharp Edges

by WorryinglyInnocent



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: A Monthly Rumbelling, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Woven Lace, cw: alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 20:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19730908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorryinglyInnocent/pseuds/WorryinglyInnocent
Summary: Woven Lace. A follow-up to May’sOn the Lonely Nights like These. When Lacey decides to end their relationship, Weaver thinks that there’s more to it than meets the eye, and he tries to make sense of Lacey’s tumultuous emotions.Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt:What Have You Done(song)





	Sharp Edges

_I’m not good with people._

It was one of the first things that they said to each other when they first decided to give this strange relationship of theirs a proper definition and they decided to take a chance and go for it.

Weaver knew just how bad he and Lacey were with people, and he felt it acutely as he watched her walk away from him, her shoulders hunched inside her leather jacket and making her look so very small. As if they needed it to become any more like a sad romantic drama, the rain had just started to pour.

Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him that he was being an utter idiot, just standing there in the rain whilst Lacey got further and further away from him. It was telling him to go after her, to tell her that he could see through her bravado and he knew how much she was hurting because God, she’d hurt him so badly he could barely see with the ache of it. He wanted to tell her that he knew her excuses were just excuses and he wanted to know the real reason why she was leaving him with no warning and barely any explanation.

He had thought, however mistakenly, that things had been going well. They’d stumbled along together in their own dysfunctional way. They’d talked. They’d dated. They’d had a hell of a lot of sex. They’d held each other in the dead of night and talked about hopes and dreams and fears; about lives outside of constant police work and round-the-clock drinking and partying. And then tonight had come, with Lacey’s flat declaration.

_It’s never going to work. I know you’re only with me because you feel sorry for me and you think I’ll end up in a ditch soon._

It had left Weaver speechless, because it was patently untrue, and moreover because Lacey knew that it was patently untrue. He could see it in her eyes; she knew that there was no weight or evidence behind the statement, but then the heavens had opened, and Lacey had turned on her heel and walked off in the direction of Roni’s.

Now here he was, soaked to the skin and wondering what the hell to do next.

If she didn’t want to be with him then he would accept that, but there was something else at work here, something that was making her push him away.

Weaver was a detective. Finding things out was his job. And maybe he was going against his better judgement, but he was going to get to the bottom of all this.

“Lacey!” He dashed through the puddles after her; luckily the streets were empty from the downpour, he knew the way from Lacey’s place to Roni’s bar blindfold, and Lacey’s jacket was bright red and easy to spot.

“Lacey, please, talk to me!”

She stopped, but she didn’t turn around.

“There’s nothing to say.” Her voice was low, choked like she was wrestling with her emotions. “This can’t go on.”

Weaver stepped around to face her, and she looked up at him. Her make-up was running, and he knew that it wasn’t the fault of the rain.

“Lacey, we both know that pity has nothing to do with it.”

“John, please, just let me go.” She was openly crying now, tears mixing with raindrops on her face.

“If that’s really what you want…”

“It is.”

“If that’s really what you want, then of course I’ll let you go. But at least tell me why. The real reason why.” Weaver took a deep breath. He’d never said this to anyone before, but if Lacey was going to walk out of his life forever, then she needed to know the truth of where he stood. “Lacey, I lo…”

“No!” Lacey screeched. “Don’t say it!”

“I mean it.”

“I know you do, and that’s what makes it worse! But if you don’t say it, then I never hear it and I can pretend that all we had didn’t mean anything!”

“Lace, please help me understand what’s going on here.”

“I don’t deserve you!” Lacey screamed. She was so vehement that Weaver had to take a step back.

“Lacey…”

“I don’t deserve you,” she sobbed. “You care _so much_ , and you deserve to care about someone who isn’t a total fuck-up. I’m broken, John, and I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt on my sharp edges or thinking that it’s up to you to put me back together again. I am shattered, and I am not worth the time and effort it’ll take you to find and glue all the pieces. You can’t fix me. No one can.”

“Maybe I can’t fix you. I’m not even trying to. But I can’t expect you to fix yourself without anyone to help you.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be fixed.” Lacey shook her head. “I never even realised just how broken I was until I met you and I fell in lo…” She stopped herself before she said the fated word. “And now I realise, and God, it scares me so much that I just want to go back to the way it was before, back when I was just numb to it all and I didn’t care.”

“I don’t think you’re as broken as you think you are. You’re worthy of care, and of help. You’re worthy of love.”

“For God’s sake, John, I’m an alcoholic.” There was such resentment and resignation in her voice, such self-loathing. “I’m thirty-one years old and I’m an alcoholic.”

“I know.” For some reason, that seemed to surprise her, and Weaver pressed on. “Lacey, I’ve known you for a long time, and I know how much and how often you drink. You’ve never hidden it. No, I can’t fix you. No, I can’t help you fix yourself unless you want to be fixed. But that doesn’t mean I can’t care, and it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve me. I love you. All of you. Even the parts that belong to the darkness.”

Lacey burst into a fresh flood of tears, pressing her hands over her face and howling. Weaver wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her sodden hair.

“You are loved, Lacey, and you are worthy of it. Never think otherwise. Come on. Let’s get inside before we wash away.”

Lacey let him steer her back towards her apartment and soon they were inside, dripping and shivering. Weaver pulled Lacey into the bathroom and started the shower. They’d shared showers before, but this time there was nothing remotely sensual in it, just the need to get them warmed up quickly. He held her close under the spray, their clothes in a sodden heap on the floor to deal with later.

Lacey looked up at him, and he wiped away her running mascara.

“I love you,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry for everything. But I love you, and I don’t want you hurt.”

“Shutting me out hurt me more than anything. I know you, Lacey. You’re a good person at heart, even if you don’t think so yourself.”

Lacey sighed and reached out to turn off the water before it ran cold on them.

“Maybe I’ll think straighter after some coffee.”

Once their clothes were drying in the laundry room and coffee was being drunk, Lacey spoke again. Her sweats looked like they were drowning her, but they wouldn’t have fitted Weaver, who was wrapped in her ratty grey bathrobe.

“I’m scared,” she said plainly. “I’m scared that I don’t want to change because I won’t know who I am anymore. I’ve been like this for so long, it’s who I am. And if I’m a different person without all than, then what about the people who only know me as, well, me? What about the people like you?”

“I guess I’ll discover who the new you is with you.”

“And if it’s someone you don’t like?”

“I doubt that will happen.”

“But say it does?”

“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Lace, I’m no good with prophesising. I can’t promise what it’s going to be like. I just know that I’m here now and I care, and I’ll care for as long as you’ll have me.”

Lacey rested her head on his shoulder.

“Why did you come after me?” she asked.

“Because I’m terrible with people and most of my instincts were telling me not to, so I thought that if I did the thing I was certain was the wrong idea, then I might get somewhere.”

“So, it was reverse psychology. Hmm. Maybe I should try that.”

They fell back into silence, waiting for the timer on Lacey’s phone to tell them when the dryer would be finished. They still had a long way to go, and it wasn’t going to be plain sailing by any stretch of the imagination. If Lacey wanted him to go, then he would go, now that he knew _why_ she wanted him to go. But for now, she seemed happy for him to stay with her, and for him to love her. He pressed a kiss into her damp hair and felt her smile against his shoulder.

Maybe there was hope for them yet.


End file.
